Donovan's Mental State
S02 Ep04: When Realities Collide (Incidentals)
Location: Captain's Ready Room
Timeline: Mission 4 Day 8-10a
As Somers crouched down in front of Donovan, she steeled herself as she looked into her eyes, she had known the woman a long time and her natural eyes still unnerved her. But what was more disturbing was the fact that S'arila was mumbling to herself in a dialect the Universal Translator could not translate, this told Jasmine the language was Donovan's native language. amidst the foreign tongue the words "not again", "I am not back", "I cannot be back, it is not fair" these words were repeated over and over.
"Lights up one level, hindrance" Somers said and the room brightened up a little, but remained low enough so they were not a hindrance to Donovan's sensitive eyes. "S'arila, is everything okay?" Somers asked the woman was looking at her, yet not and as she was mumbling she was rocking back and fore with impressive force making a low *thud* noise "Major Donovan!" Somers said clicking her fingers directly in front of her, she tried numerous ways of doing this even slapping her across her face, but she was still in a tortured world of her own.
Tapping her Commbadge =/\= Captain, Somers to Lieutenant Dodd =/\=
=/\= Dodd, here captain. What can I do for you? =/\= Dodd replied to the captain's call.
=/\= Lieutenant, good you are awake, I need you and your telepathic skills up in the Captain's Ready Room pronto, it seems Major Donovan is suffering from PTSD, I have tried the normal ways to bring her out of it, I was wondering if you might be able to do something, she was a telepath once, so she might be receptive =/\= Somers said.
=/\= I would be glad to assist. I am in engineering now, so I will be there as soon as I can. =/\= Dodd replied as he directed the last of duties to a couple of ensigns, grabbed his hot chocolate and headed for the Captain's Ready Room.
=/\= Acknowledged Lieutenant, see you in a few, Somers out =/\= she closed the link and tried to stop Donovan from her see-saw motions, without much success, so she stood up and walked over to get a mug of tea.
Dodd arrived at the CRR and was feeling a telepathic presence but still did not recognize it. So he enters the room.
"Hello, Captain. Sorry, it took me so long to get here. I hope I am not too late." Dodd stated.
Looking back at the Chief Engineer "not a problem Chief, I will bring in our Counsellor in on this shortly, she has a limited telepathic ability, but you are stronger in that regard and...." Somers paused as she jumped as Donovan screamed loudly. "Eeek!!" came a un-Captainly squeal of surprise.
"AAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!! stop the voices, so much pain, go away, go away!" then Donovan lapsed into babbling; as she held her head as she babbled, she began to cry, and started banging her head against the wall.
Somers looked over to Donovan and realised her ability was back, she looked at Dodd "Lieutenant, you need to show her how to tune out the voices she is hearing, I believe that her telepathic ability has returned. She has been without it a long time and she seems to have forgotten her training, I need her coherent, can you help her?" Somers asked "before she lost her ability she was the strongest telepath I ever heard of, so this sudden return if it is that has caught her unprepared and thus had affected her barriers" she added.
"Ma'am, I will do what I can. I have never really done what you are asking. I am willing to do what I can to help her in any way possible. I will access her mind and try to access memories of her using her telepathy and how she maintained control." Dodd stated as he sat on the floor near Donovan.
Nodding Somers stood and walked over to her desk and opened up a Comm-link to Walon =/\= Somers to Walon =/\=
=/\=Walon here, Captain, what is the matter?=/\= her voice was calm over the com system, she had returned to her human form only moments ago after having calmed down, one of their half Vulcan officers and their companion.
=/\= Lieutenant I need you in the CRR, quickly if you will =/\= Somers said.
=/\=I will be there shortly, Captain. =/\= Iria replied as she walked the pair out of her office, making sure to have them talk more with Tamra, or Jorie to be on the safe side.
=/\= Acknowledged, Somers out =/\= with that done she returned to where Dodd was doing his stuff, while she waited she began to pace back and forth in worry, she only paused when she saw the CRR Doors open.
Iria walked through the doorway, and the mental shouting from S'arila made her pause, her ears ringing at the volume, before moving to kneel down beside her. she glanced at Somers and Dodd before she shook her head softly, "She is shouting so much I am not sure she'll hear me, not until she calms down anyway. I am going to try something. Please don't be alarmed."
Jasmine Looked at Walon "Counsellor, Lieutenant get her ready she has to brief us, she told me once that if we ever encountered a spatial anomaly and we got dragged through, if she started behaving otherwise, like this I suppose *points to a distressed Donovan* it means that we have entered her reality, this means we are in trouble" Somers said.
Iria closed her eyes and shifted to her feline form and purred loudly as she snuggled against S'arila's arms and hands, trying to get a reaction. She had not shifted in front of any of the crew before and even with the pair she had helped in her office had not seen her shifting in front of them after she'd gotten through to them she'd gone to her desk and they'd turned their backs giving her 'privacy'. She did not think Somers or Dodd would be completely upset by her revelation but their opinions did not really matter right then, what mattered was S'arila needed help and this was one way she felt would give them a start...
S'arila was vaguely aware that something furry and purring was snuggling against her arms, she felt a mind touch hers and she stopped banging her head as she looked down at a bull of ginger fur, although without her special eyewear she only so heat vision colours, but without meaning to she began to make a fuss of the ball of fur, but she was still muttering, but more quietly to herself.
Somers looked at the quieter Donovan, who was making a fuss of the Putty tat, she knew that her Counsellor could shape-shift into a feline form, but seeing it and the end result was a totally different experience. "Looks like Lieutenant Walon has quietened the Major down Lieutenant, colours," Somers said to Dodd.
Dodd was accessing memories deep within Donovan's mind. Some were of the good times but many were of terrible events and very dark and tortured. He was looking for ways to help Donovan's mind help itself. He figured if he accessed the right memory, she could gather control of her own mind. He decided to enter a memory that seemed to be one of her controlling her telepathic side.
She watched Dodd get to work, while he did she looked at the little kitty "Okay Iria I think things are going to get worse before they get better, you might want to step away and return to your humanoid form and thank you for trying, you got a reaction from the Major.
Iria looked up at Jasmine nodding her feline head the quick quieting from S'arila was heartening as well as Dodd's apparent progress with getting through to S'arila. She gave Donovan a last encouraging nudge before she slipped from the major's grasp. She didn't see the point in hiding from Somers nor Dodd further and just shifted back to her human form again. The blue white nimbus shimmered around her as she went from feline to woman again.
- Donovan's Mind -
Within this memory, Dodd could see a scientist working with Donovan and he could hear the scientist explaining how to focus and hone her abilities. Then the memory got distorted or almost as if this was a false memory in Donovan's mind. Dodd felt a terrible presence in this memory and was having a hard time steering in this memory. It was as if something took control of Dodd and was driving him within this memory.
In Donovan's mind she was in peaceful surroundings, she was a little girl at her adopted home on earth playing with her dolls, when she looked up and smiled at the stranger in Starfleet Operations Uniform "hello Lieutenant Dodd, what are you doing here?" she asked nicely as she returned to her dolls.
Dodd's jaw dropped as he was unaware that Donovan's memory could allow her mind to see him. Trying to flow with the memory and the imagery within it, "Hello. I am here to help you." Dodd replied while still in disbelief that she recognized him.
After he stated he was there to help, Dodd looked around within this memory but still sort of felt something was guiding him and not letting him fully control what was happening to his mind.
Once Dodd had made the new link, he noticed a little girl with red glasses standing in a beautifully manicured lawn outside a simple house but it was sort of like they were inside a snow globe.
"Where are we?" Dodd asked the little girl.
She looked at him and held up her doll "I live here, you like my dolly Lieutenant?" she asked, she seemed to mostly sidestep the entire question.
"I see, well you live in a very nice house with a nicely cared for lawn," Dodd replied. "Yes, you do have a nice dolly." oO I wonder how I can get her to stop guiding me and let me explore this mind of hers. Oo Dodd started to think as to maybe it would alter the guidance he was feeling.
The little girl looked at Dodd "you are wondering how this can all be Lieutenant Dodd! I was me a powerful telepath rated off the scales and I always had me the ability to mind-walk, but this is the first time this has happened with an alien species. But if you are thinking that you are being guided, then you would be correct, my people seem to have them an innate talent to guide in such instances, never know it works with aliens before" Donovan said.
Considering that this Nine-year-old was a version of the Adult Donovan, she had the same speech pattern as that of the older Donovan, the little girl looked back at the building she was in front of them to the dark shed to her other side, the shed was ominous and foreboding, the little girl seemed scared of it.
Dodd felt the emotions that Donovan was transmitting about the dark little shed. He wondered if part of Donovan's mind was allowing him to discover a dark secret but he still felt a firm control of what he was allowed to do.
"It seems to me that with a house and lawn so pretty, that the shed should be pretty as well. What is in the shed? Dodd decided to ask and suffer any consequences that may come.
The little girl with specially designed rose tinted glasses who was the same height as that of a 16-year-old and she was only nine, looks back at the shed then to Dodd "that is bad place, mommy and daddy said to never go there, bads men's are in there" S'arila said sounding very frightened. It was the one place her adult self could not look at so she had created a younger version of herself to cope with that eventuality.
"Why would there be bad men in the shed?" Dodd asked.
"This is a nice place." Dodd then turned toward the shed and took a few steps. The shed looked run down and covered in dirt and vines. The rest of the grounds were beautifully manicured and yet this shed was neglected and in a terrible state of disrepair compared to anything he has seen in this place.
Not knowing what would come next, Dodd proceeded to the shed and reached for the doorknob. He felt nothing controlling him or forcing him to not open the door. So he grabbed the doorknob and started to open the door.
An Adult Donovan was now standing behind him, the little girl had vanished and a fully grown woman tapped him on the shoulder "El tee, it is unwise and unsafe to enter that place I would not advise this, as my mind is likely to fight back" Donovan said.
"What is there to be afraid of?" Dodd asked of Donovan.
Dodd decided to go for it and pull the door open. When he had the shed door about halfway open, Donovan physically threw him away from the shed. He was not expecting that and even though it was in Donovan's mind, it hurt. Dodd was shocked and surprised and for lack of other response, he started to laugh which was his mind's way to overcome the negative energy he was now sensing.
S'arila saw Dodd go to open the door and she grabbed the back of his collar and threw him back a good distance "I warned you not to go in there Lieutenant, I also mentioned there were bad things, kindly listen" Donovan said and was puzzled by his laughter she could not understand that he was laughing after she threw him a good distance back, in the mindscape she turned the tattered wooden shed into an Ablative armoured box with a coded lock on it, no one would be going in there, not now not ever, this she was determined to make happen.
- CRR -
In the CRR, Dodd was suddenly thrown across the room with a force that seemed to only affect him. Once he smashed against the wall, he lost his telepathic link to Donovan.
oO Could this be a method of how Donovan controlled her abilities? Oo Dodd was doing all he could to keep himself from getting lost in this memory when suddenly he felt it let go of him and almost forcibly push him aside.
"Well, captain. I thought I had the right memory but it apparently was a fake memory to help her keep others from doing what I was attempting to do to help her." Dodd stated as he got himself up off the floor.
"And?" Somers simply asked.
Seeing him go flying across the room had Iria on her feet, standing before she'd consciously thought of moving."Are you alright?" she asked softly looking from him to Donovan, uncertain what might occur next.
"I am okay I guess. Nothing seems broken other than my pride." Dodd replied. "I did sense a second telepathic presence but never thought it was Dr Walon," Dodd stated as he realized that she was in a feline form. He did not know she could shift nor did he feel it about her when he was near. Her telepathic ability was low enough that he may not have realized she was one until she said something but he did not know she could shift her form between humanoid to a feline.
"Well the Counselor has a low telepathic rating, I always associated it with being closer to Empathy than telepathy" Somers added.
"I have never been empathic I get random loud thoughts from folks and I am good at reading folks physical stances sometimes. I count myself lucky when I can hear a few folks clearly," she said evenly looking from Somers to Dodd.
"I would be willing to keep trying to reach into Donovan's mind to help her if you would like me to do so," Dodd stated to the captain.
Looking at Dodd "Remember Mr Dodd, she is half alien, half her heritage is from a species not fully known, so I cannot say what you will find in there" Somers said.
"I know captain, she was identifying me as an alien and she seemed surprised that I was inside her mind with a strong presence. I felt like I was sort of being controlled and when I started asking too many questions, she broke the link. I feel that she needs some guidance to get out of where her mind is." Dodd replied. "I will try again."
Dodd then re-approached Donovan and this time he sat right next to her and mimicked her as he attempted to copy how she was sitting. Then he gently touched her shoulder and reentered her mind.
- Mindscape -
Donovan, an Adult Donovan was standing at the wall of the fallen, it was not the wall of the fallen of her reality, but of the main reality and the majority of the names were those lost in the Dominion War. In the Mindscape, she was standing as she sensed someone approaching her.
"Back for more I see Lieutenant, was not the response to the shed, not enough?" Donovan asked, she seemed more cognizant of who she was and what she was doing "you know, that where we are in reality is the aftermath of what was in that shed, so be prepared for sights you would never have thought to see." Donovan added.
"I am back and ready to do what is needed to help a friend," Dodd added. "This time, I will not go without you."
Dodd paused for her to realize what he had said.
"I am prepared for those sights as long as it means you are alright and able to control what is happening to your mind." Dodd had not really done this before but he was feeling a stronger bond with Donovan than he expected. He no longer felt the control over him but that he was free to move as he saw fit. "I only want to know that we can get you back to normal or as normal as possible in this reality. The events of the shed are now behind all of us and we will move forward and deal with the aftermath and do it as a unified crew." Dodd was speaking in a calm yet firm voice and presented himself in a very relaxed state as he felt that he was helping her regain control of all that had come undone.
Donovan walked over to Dodd who had picked himself up off the floor "The contents of that shed will remain private, as for what can be done to help me, get the ship out of my parent reality, this ship does not belong here, it should not even be in this reality where I originated. As for my mind, I am once again in control El tee and thanks in part to you, now I think it is time we leave this sanitarium of my mind, it is not healthy for an alien to linger in my mindscape as I do not know what the effects it will have over the long term on you, anything to say and will you leave of your own accord or am I going to have to eject you like an old music cassette?" Donovan asked the last bit with a smile to show it was not meant in a nasty way.
"I do feel like you do now have a firmer grasp of your abilities. I am available if you ever need someone to help you. I will respect your wishes and not ask about the contents of the shed and I will withdraw from your mind." Dodd replied. "I will see you in the waking world."
So then Dodd stood and used the image of transporting himself out of her mind to help her realize he understood her.
With that she was once again alone in her mind, she looked around "so this is what my mind looks like" she said to herself then glanced at the house and saw her younger smiling self-waving goodbye to her "Oh great this is not narcissistic!" she quietly said then everything was dark as she left her mind.
- CRR -
Suddenly Donovan came to her senses and looked around and put her glasses back on "Computer raise illumination" she said and the room became brighter, she looks at Dodd "thank you for all your help El tee, now if you can go out and let the Captain know that I will be ready to brief the crew in five minutes" Donovan said.
"I am glad I was able to help, don't hesitate if you need me for anything. I am always happy to help a friend. I will let the captain know you will brief the crew in five minutes." Dodd replied and felt a reassurance from Donovan about the stability of her mind. He then exited the CRR to brief the captain about Donovan and then to head to Engineering.
After Dodd had left, Donovan turned her attention to Walon who was now back in humanoid form "Apologies for what you saw Counsellor, but I feel that a proper session is in order, if we are going to be stuck here for any period then I will need to be able to function without having another meltdown, can you help in that regard?" Donovan asked.
"I am more than willing to help however I can." she was very impressed with how quickly S'arila had come back to herself after Dodd's apparent reasoning with her mental protections.
"Well then, I will set up an appointment, but now I need to go brief the crew, I will be along to your office after if that is OK with you Counsellor?" Donovan asked Walon.
"Come to the office when ever you are free or feel you need to talk. I can move the other appointments around as we need." she would make it work, having S'arila in a stable mind set to help the crew during this misadventure was at the top of the list right then...
*Nodding* "thank you Iria," Donovan said and left shortly after Walon did, but Donovan returned to the bridge.
Captain Jasmine Somers
Lieutenant Remington Dodd
Chief Engineering Officer
Lieutenant Jg Iria Walon